I was once asked by a friend “is there a strategy for getting a girl friend?” and “yes” i responded “there is a strategy for everything”. And now i am putting my answer to him on the web for all boys and girls (the same strategy work for girls too, just switch the sexes below). Continue reading
From Mark Regnerus’s Slate article Sex is Cheap:
“[M]en want sex more than women do. Call it sexist, call it whatever you want—the evidence shows it’s true. In one frequently cited study, attractive young researchers separately approached opposite-sex strangers on Florida State University’s campus and proposed casual sex. Three-quarters of the men were game, but not one woman said yes. I know: Women love sex too. But research like this consistently demonstrates that men have a greater and far less discriminating appetite for it.”
The conclusion drawn fromt the cited research is at best sloppy at worst wrong. Continue reading
What cause a society to have, in general, boys who lavish time and money (ie resources) on to girls and get much less in return?
I can think of cause that falls under two categories, namely economical and biological.
Oversupply male or shortage of female will lead to stronger competition among the boys (compare to competition on the girls side). This is obviously. But what may contribute to the oversupply of males? I offer these scenarios:
A: There are more mate seeking males than females, leading to oversupply of males. (Many reasons can cause this: higher female mortality rate, more boys willing to move to big cities than girls leading to oversupply of boys in big cities, etc).
B: More selective boys (eg. they all only want certain types of girls). This will reduce the number of “desired” female thus effectively causing female shortage.
C: Boys cheats more. For every boy who cheats there is an extra supply of boy, effectively causing oversupply.
Biological cause are well known (i think). i cannot do justices here in a short blog post, but it goes something like this:
Females contributes far more than males in the act of procreation. Female eggs cost more than male sperm, females nutrition are directly siphon off her by the offspring during and after pregnancy (milk). Because of the overwhelming cost to her in the act of procreation, and her reliance on her partner to feed and care for her during and after pregnancy she needs to avoid bad partners who runs off after conception.
So it become a good evolutionary strategy for her to demand “down payment” in the forms of food and other resources before conception. It is more than probable that this courtship behavior from our evolutionary past still linger in modern societies today.
Update: the risk of unwanted pregnancy and violent (rape) may also cause girls to be less incline to have sex or go on a date with a physically stronger, unfamiliar man, respectively. It is therefore foreseeable for girls to be pay less for dates in order to compensate for the risk.
Note: i though about taking differentiation of income between the sexes into consideration, where if boys general make more money than girls, it is likely that boys will spend more on a date with a girl. I decided to leave it out because, i want to concentrate on male-female asymmetric contribution to the relationship. It is arguably not asymmetrical when the boys spends more in proportion to their extra income.
I also contemplated on adding a “cultural” reason to the asymmetric contribution (eg being a “gentlemen”). However, its difficult to tell if the cultural reasons are not simply manifestation of the underlining economical or biological reasons already stated above. I therefore left them out. Even though there are probably evolutionary foundation to the economical cause i stated above as well.
A date is a meeting of two person where at least one have a “romantic interest” in the other.
“Romantic interest” can either mean one have a romantic feeling towards another, the feeling can either be describe as love, crush, or simply wanting to find our if there is possibility for romantic relationship.
The obvious way to find out if one of them have romantic feeling towards another is simply to ask either one of them.
However, people don’t like to admit to the romantic nature, possibly due to shyness, secrecy or they need to lie to a boy/girl friend.
I think a good way to test if the meeting is a date, is to ask both party (separately) that if its ok for a 3rd person to join their meeting, if they answer “NO” without giving an “reasonable reason” then its safe to say its a date.
The 3rd person is a good test, because if the meeting is date, they usually dont want a 3rd person to join.
by a “reasonable reason” i mean for example a meeting to discuss about business, or private family matter then its obviously reasonable to say “no” to a 3rd person.
Take the below scenario for example
Pink is going out with Blue to watch a movie,
Red ask Pink if its not a date can Red come too?
Pink reject Red’s request saying “no its not a date, but you still cannot come because you dont know Blue”
in this scenario, i would say that Red not knowing Blue is not a “reasonable reason” to reject Red.
Pink rejected Red because Pink either have romantic feeling towards Blue, or Pink thinks Blue have romantic feeling towards Pink.
What do you think? is it likely that the meeting between Pink and Blue is a date?
Let’s say by ‘smart’ we mean ‘in the top 5% of the population in terms of intelligence and education’. Generally speaking, smart people seek out other smart people to hang out with, simply because they get bored otherwise. And if they’re going to spend a lot of time with someone, intelligence in a partner is pretty much a requirement.
Well, congratulations — you’ve just eliminated 95% of the world’s population as a potential mate, Mr or Ms Smartypants. Now, luckily, the world’s kinda big, so the remaining 5% of the gender of your choice is still a plentiful 160 million or so people. Even if only 1% of those are single enough, good-looking enough, local enough and just all-around cool enough for you, that’s over a million people you can date out there.
Still, that’s less than one in five thousand people. And if you live in a smaller city, it may be just a handful of folks who are going to meet your stringent criteria.