If i have to be a Christian…

over drink last night, a dilemma was put forth:

“Would you become christian if its the only way to be with your dream girl/boy?”

hmm.. first of all i thought she wouldn’t be my dream girl if she is a Christian.
but let say, she is although not a perfect dream girl, but one close to it. She happens to be ritual Christian who does not believe in the supernaturals in bible or the existence of god, she just follow the rituals and consider them community bonding exercises. However her parents are real Christians and somehow she feels that she needs to marry a Christian to keep her parents happy. Is this a probably senario? probably not, but just bear with me for a bit longer.

First i thought, fuck that. i cant pretend believe in a 2,000 year old rumor.
Then i thought, yes i can, i will just have to interpret bible slightly differently:
1. God by its most fundamental definition is the creator of the universe. So God is Big Bang
2. Everything in the new testament that cant be logically or scientifically explained are metaphors. Jesus was great as if he was the son of god. We were so inspired by Jesus, water tasted like the more expensive wine.
3. All the crazy stuff in the old testament are stories that were result of corruption by wrong headed/fanatical translators or transcribers.

There we have a modernized bible and me a modernized Christian now with a hot ritual Christian girl.
(hat tip: Jefferson)


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